Myths, Concerns, and Other things that go bump in the night…

I want to talk about a few things we’ve been taught and/or become accustomed to that are total MYTHS. Surely you’ve heard of these whoppers before:

- You should only wash your hair once every two weeks because too much water will dry your hair out!

Ok ya’ll, think about it…when has ANYTHING been dry after water has been applied to it? What’s probably drying your hair out is the shampoo (remember the SLS?). Water IS moisture! And it’s our hair’s friend; we just need to ensure we’re not stripping our natural oils out with the harsh shampoos and not replacing it afterwards.

- Black hair doesn’t grow as fast as the other types of hair.

Hair is hair. The normal growth of hair, any type of hair, ranges between ¼” and 1” of growth per month. Period. Do you know how this is proven? When you were getting your relaxers and touch-ups, it was because your new growth hair was growing in! So if our hair didn’t grow, what were you getting touch-ups on? Your new growth! What’s happening is the ENDS of your hair were breaking off. So the mission is to RETAIN the ends of your hair to see true length. And the key to retaining those ends is MOISTURE, MOISTURE, MOISTURE!!! *Reference the first “myth” above. Due to the cuticle shape of black hair, our natural oils have a hard time traveling down to the ends of our hair, thereby denying that portion of the needed oils. That brings us to the next “Myth”.

- You should always grease your scalp!

This is why we were taught to apply all of that heavy petroleum/mineral oil-containing grease to our hair and scalps! Now, applying the right oils is a very important step, but the “right oils” are definitely not those heavy, pore-blocking products of old that we were brought up on! That’s right, no more Bergamot, no more Ultra Sheen, and yes, no more Pink Oil, etc…until the companies replace those harmful ingredients! Instead, choose one (or more) of the natural oils, such as jojoba (very similar to the sebum our scalp produces naturally), coconut, olive, castor, etc… to moisturize our hair and scalp.

- Curly, coily, kinky hair is hard to manage/maintain!

*Looking at that one with the stank-eye.. Folks, what hasn’t been hard to do when you don’t know HOW to do it? Walking was hard until we learned how to walk! For many years we’ve been “taught” the wrong way to take care of our hair. I mean, who would PURPOSELY run a small rattail comb through naturally curly, coily, kinky hair?! Ouch! That hurts just thinking about it! We need to re-learn the basics about natural hair care and believe me, once you’ve learned to accept your hair and how to take care of it properly, it will be a breeze! Honestly, my hair has never been as easy to care for since I learned the proper way. Check this out…when I was relaxed, I would go through the process of getting the relaxer put in, then to the hair dryer or blow-dryer, then flat-ironed, just to get it re-curled in some form or the other! And the style lasted about as long as it took for me to walk out of the beauty salon, drive home, and go to sleep! Within the next morning or two, I’d have to repeat most of the process.

Well, these are only a few of the myths we’ve been led to believe or taught. And although it may seem like it now, learning the proper way to care for our hair really isn’t rocket-science. Before you know it, it’ll all be second nature, as it should be!

Happy Thanksgiving to You All!

May God’s Blessings flow upon you abundantly! May His Grace show you Favor and His Loving Arms of Protection surround you and your loved ones Always! Peace Ya’ll!!

My Favorite Products and Some of the Ways I Use Them:

-Knot Today conditioner – Leave in conditioner; twist/twist outs; braid outs; used daily

-Jamaican Black Castor Oil/Castor Oil – seals the ends of hair; moisturize scalp/scalp massages; twists/twist outs; used daily

-Coconut Oil (one of the few oils that penetrates hair) – scalp massage, hair moisturizer, pre-poo (used prior to washing my hair); used daily, no less than 4 times a week

-Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Conditioner – Main mix-in for deep conditioner; deep condition every week

-Giovanni Smooth as Silk Deeper Moisture conditioner – use to co-wash; use as a leave-in; mix-in for deep conditioning; used weekly

-Extra Virgin Olive Oil – hot oil treatment; used bi-weekly

-Giovanni Smooth as Silk Deeper Moisture shampoo – use to clean hair and scalp; used bi-weekly

-Apple Cider Vinegar (Bragg Brand with the “mother”) – use to clarify hair and to balance PH on scalp and hair; used monthly

-Henna (Body art quality) – deep conditioner; hair tint; hair strengthener (www.mehandi.com); used monthly to every six weeks

-100% pure, unrefined Shea Butter – moisturize hair and scalp; melt to use with deep conditioning treatment (www.butters-n-bars.com)

-Emu oil – anti-inflammatory treatment; used as needed

-Tea Tree oil – (mixed with a carrier oil, usually castor oil) anti-inflammatory treatment; used as needed

-Eco Styler Gel (Clear) – smooth edges; wash-and-go’s; use as needed

-Glycerin – (mixed with water) used during the hot months as a humectant (absorbs moisture from the air and draws it into your hair)


*A Lil’ Extra: Be cautious when using humectants when there’s not much moisture in the air; if moisture can’t be found in the air, the humectants will draw the moisture from your hair!

Slippery When Wet

A short blurb on how to wash/co-wash your hair… Here goes: Put the product in your hands/fingertips, focus on getting the product on your scalp. Massage the product all into/over your scalp, letting the remains gently clean your hair strands as it run down from your scalp. Now notice that I didn’t say swoosh and pile your hair on your head (like in the commercials!); to do so will cause unnecessary tangling that you’ll have to deal with eventually. When you’ve thoroughly massaged your scalp clean (not only cleaning but stimulating those hair follicles! *hint, hint = promoting hair growth!), rinse out the cleaning product you’re using. If it’s shampoo, ensure you rinse thoroughly; if you’re using conditioner, it’s not as important to rinse all of the product out, in fact, leaving a little in afterwards will give your tresses a little moisture boost. That’s it, the end.

But before you throw that towel around your head, detangle first! Curly, coily, kinky hair should never , …let me repeat that, NEVER be combed while completely dry! Better yet, do it before stepping out of the shower. The best way to detangle curly, coily, kinky hair is while you have loads of slippery conditioner still in your hair. The comb and/or fingers will slide easily through without holding unnecessary hair as hostage! And make sure you use a very wide tooth comb; better yet, use your fingers to detangle! Here’s one comb I use on occasion (can be found at Walmart, Target, etc):




But the VERY BEST detangler and curl definer, in my opinion, is the Denman brush (can be found at Sally’s Beauty Supply), shown here:



After detangling, rinse the extra conditioner out of your hair. I always apply a leave-in next or I’ll just leave a little of the regular conditioner in for moisture. Note: When choosing your conditioner, you must still read that ingredient list ya'll! Make sure the good stuff is in there and there’s not any of the “badness” hiding among the top ingredients!

*A Lil' Extra: When combing or detangling your hair, always start from the ends and work your way up towards the roots! This method helps prevent pulling tangles and knots to the ends of your hair.

By the way...

You've probably gathered I'm a huge advocate of research...your own personal research (hence all of the "google" suggestions). It's okay to take someone else's "word" for something but there's nothing like gathering knowledge for yourself. You'll learn so much more in the process!

Ok, now my deal with shampoo...

If you guys have read my earlier posts, you’ve been faithfully reading your hair products ingredient labels, right? So, you’ll know most shampoos have an ingredient called Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, or some variation of sulfate (aka SLS) in them. And this ingredient is usually listed as the second or third ingredient on the list, meaning there’s a large amount contained within your product.

Do you know what SLS actually is? Well, let me tell you (and please google “Sodium Laureth Sulfate” to find out more about it!)…this inexpensive detergent is not only used in shampoos, but also in cosmetic cleansers, bath soaps, bubble bath, etc… Uhhhh, guess what? It is probably the most dangerous ingredient used in these products for your skin and hair! What you also may not have known is SLS is used in garage floor cleaners, engine degreasers, etc.! Yikes! And we put that crap in our HAIR!!?? Yep, we do (did). Why do you think conditioners were created?; to combat the dryness shampoos cause and to replace some of the moisture that was stripped from your hair by SLS!

So, how are you suppose to clean your hair? Glad you asked! lol Did you know conditioners can clean your hair just as well as shampoos? *The process of washing your hair with conditioner is known as “co-washing”. And yes, you can google “co-wash” and find a lot of information about the process. It’s really no different from the way you would use shampoo. No, the conditioners don’t lather much but if its lather you want, there are many really good shampoos out there that do not contain SLS; you just have to look a little harder for them. *Check out A Lil' Extra below*

Now that we’ve discussed what to use to clean your hair, let’s move on to HOW to clean your hair. I know, I know, … it’s a lot to process but trust me, it will become second nature to you and your hair will THANK you for it! Trust me! I haven’t led you wrong yet!!

*A Lil’ Extra: Some SLS-free shampoos I've found and like are Giovanni brands (can be found in Target and usually run about $7); Dr Bronners castile soaps (also found in Targets and Whole Food stores. Prices vary depending on size); Audrey Organics is another brand that has a wonderful selection of sulfate-free shampoos!

They're Just Not That Into You!

Ok, now, this would seem like it wouldn’t be that difficult to figure out. You’ve probably taken care of your hair most of your life. Won’t the same regime work for your natural hair? Just buy some products and call it a day right? Wrong!! If you are ONLY going natural, this may very well be the case, however, if you want healthy, beautiful, GROWING natural hair, then you need to know a few things. First thing…there are a lot of companies out there, owned by every ethnic group there is, that’s just not that into our hair. And don’t think that just because there’s a picture of someone on the box that looks like you, that these products are best for you. These companies create and distribute products that are full of harmful ingredients and will then put one drop of something good in it and blast that miniscule ingredient super large on the packaging. ”Made with 100% pure SHEA BUTTER!!!” You’ve seen ‘em! *If you’re not familiar with the positives of Shea butter, please google it! This stuff is not only good for the skin, but for the hair and scalp also.

How many products have you seen with Shea butter advertised in great big ole’ letters on the front of the jar and when you read the ingredient list, it’s listed as next to the last item in the product? *Note: Ingredients are listed in the order of amount in product, meaning, when you see a product’s ingredient list, the first thing listed is what’s most in the product. Most of these products use fillers; the equation for these fillers is: Make more + Sell more= Take your money!

Some of the most popular filler ingredients for hair products are petroleum and mineral oil. I try to avoid these as they can be extremely suffocating to your hair and scalp; they “coat” your hair strands, keeping moisture out and causing dryness to your strands. The “base” used prior to a relaxer process is made of petroleum; the petroleum helps block the harmful relaxer cream from reaching your scalp. If petroleum can block lye, it definitely will block any type of moisture from reaching your strands. Observing the ingredient list is also very important, so guys, take the time to research the main ingredients in the products you choose to use in/on your hair and scalp. It can make a heck of a difference! And this goes for your shampoos (we’ll get in more details about that later!), conditioners, pomades, etc…

Hey! Where ya going? Ok…, go ahead and refill your drink, take a restroom break but do come back! Heck, bring a friend back with you! This post only touched on a very small part of what you “need to know” about products; we still have conditioners, shampoos, leave-ins, gels, etc… to cover! :)

*A Lil’ Extra: On Shea butter- I purchase my 100% pure shea butter online at: www.butters-n-bars.com . I haven’t been disappointed yet!

Natural Hair Haiku

Twist, turns, bends galore
Glorious untamed freedom
My God-given crown!

The Accidental Big Chop

Yep! That's what I said....I cut my own hair! No, I'm not a beautician, I don't even play one on blogspot but I did do my own BC. I'd planned on transitioning for a few months with micro-braids but once I'd removed the set I'd had in for about 6 weeks, I said to myself, "Why not trim a little of the relaxed ends off?" I mean, I was going to get my hair re-braided the next day and as long as there was something to grip, it would be all good, right? Well, you know how crinkly your hair is after wearing braids? ...long story short, I may have cut off more of the relaxed ends than originally planned. Once I was done washing and conditioning my newly cut hair for my re-braid, my daughter said to me, "Why are you going to pay $200 to get your hair braided? You've already cut everything off!" After further inspection, I noticed it...Yep, an accidental BC! The emotions that emerged were intense; liberation, joy, giddiness, as well as uncertainty, nervousness and even a little bit of fear. Ya'll, I had to go to work the next day! So, to put my new 'do to the test, I quickly gathered my girls together and off to the mall we went! Surreptitiously checking the expressions of oncoming “people-traffic” inside the mall, I noticed there were no unusual stares, no behind the hand giggles... My natural hair looked…well, NATURAL!! Needless to say, I cancelled my hair appointment, saved $200 in the process and haven't looked back since! Now, all I needed to do was figure out a new natural hair regimen...hmmm

*A Lil' Extra: On cutting your hair. Always use a good pair of hair scissors, not the usual craft scissors; a pair you only use for cutting hair! Doesn't have to be expensive but they should be exclusive!

In the beginning...

I didn’t get a hair relaxer until the age of 18, just prior to enlisting in the US military. The thought was the relaxer would make it easier for me to take care of my hair while in basic training. My hair was so thick and was well below my shoulders when I got my first relaxer. Boy oh boy, do I remember that day! My mom’s friend was the beautician of choice at that time and I remember sitting in her living room as she poured and mixed the crème and activator together. Because I had so much hair, she had to go out and get a second box to ensure all of my hair was covered. If she used protectant on my scalp, you couldn’t tell, because that cream burned my scalp so badly! So bad I could remember feeling as if my head was being weighed down with the pain of it! Days afterwards, even after arriving for basic training, I remember having scabs throughout my head! I’m sure I continued the process out of pure habit after basic training because I can’t think of one reason why I kept doing it. Now, fast forward 23 years later….

It was August 2008, and as I’m sitting in a beauty salon watching the oldest of my twin daughters receive a torturous relaxer touchup, (I’d received mine a week earlier) and watching her trying to put up a brave front for “the cause”, I begin questioning the “whys” of this tedious routine. Yes, she’d begged me for almost two years to get a relaxer and after having finally breaking down to her request the year prior, I was still having my doubts about the “wiseness” of this decision. We’d sat in the salon for a couple hours already and we were still only half way done! When the beautician asked her if “it was burning yet?” (yes, she did!), I decided right then and there to never put my child through this again. I swore to myself to never put another relaxer in my hair or my daughters’ hair ever again! Immediately upon returning home, I begin intensely researching the internet, reading everything I could find on transitioning (growing out a relaxer to a length you’re comfortable with before cutting the remainder of the straight hair off) and the care of natural hair. After less than three months of transitioning, I did my BC (big chop)! Thus, my journey began….

*still had a little of the relaxed ends..

The Resurrection

Unknowingly I put her to sleep many years ago, believing that was the best thing for her. Even though she was in the prime of her life, the healthiest she'd ever been, no one questioned or protested when it was her turn to say goodbye. After awakening from a long sleep, I'm starting to miss her, so very much. And although she's been absent from my life for such a long time, the reemergence of love for her is iron strong.
She's been gone for half of my life, you know, but she was the one who was with me from the very beginning. She was my gift from God! How could I have forgotten about her so completely? I ask myself this now. But now that I have remembered her, I long to see her again! I've imagined what it would be like to touch her, care for her, and love her to the full extent she deserves.
I find myself looking around trying to find another who favors her and I feel a pull so deep in my spirit when I think about her rebirth. Yes! Can you believe it?! She's coming back to me! She has endured a fiery death, many times over, and yet she still struggles to come back to me! Ah, her strength is so amazing; no wonder she was given the reigning position she has.
I now know her value and when I think about my naivety to have buried her for this long, it hurts my soul deeply. But she's coming back! I haven't seen her in so many years; I wonder how or if she's changed much? But truthfully, that don't even matter; I just want her back, regardless. She'll be here soon. And I feel my heart expanding to embrace her.
I know how to take care of her now and I'm learning new things every day. Yes, I know she'll be here soon; for I can already see her silhouette! And when she gets here, she will rightly take her royal position. And I will reign proudly with her as the Queen I was created to be. Until then, I anxiously await her arrival.

*written while transitioning to my natural hair after many years of putting a relaxer in my hair. :)

(C) 2008